Baby Love

When I look at Isaac I feel a depth of love that I never thought possible. Every little gurgle and smile makes my heart burst. To see him being cuddled by his father is the most beautiful sight I have ever be-held. When he sleeps through the night (bless him), I miss not having seen him in a number of hours. And when he cries I feel his pain as though it is my own. In short, like millions of women before me and millions of women after, I am completely in love with my baby.

Before I had Isaac people would tell me that you cannot comprehend a mother’s love until you are one. I didn’t believe a word of it and thought it arrogant to assume that one kind of love wasn't attainable by all people – but now I find it to be true and it gives me a new perspective on my relationship with my own mother. I remember back to those tumultuous teenage years when I raged against my parents – throwing their love back in their face. As teenagers go, I wasn’t terrible – I got good grades, had nice friends, didn’t dabble in alcohol or drugs and was relatively sensible. But, like all good teenagers, I did feel that my parents had no understanding of me. Whilst it’s years and years away, it already breaks my heart that no doubt Isaac will go through the same thing with us.

At the moment I am his world. When he is held by another person, he looks around to make sure that he can see me. Sometimes I am the only one that can soothe his cries. It’s impossible not to feel special. And whereas the fact that one day he won’t need me like that saddens me, what saddens me more is the fact that some babies don’t have someone adoring them. It is hard to believe that there are some children out there that don't get this absolute love lavished upon them. I read somewhere that babies want you to delight in them. I cannot help but delight in my little boy.