The "money thing"

I have always enjoyed my career and the freedom that an income of my own provides. From the time I was 14 and able to work, I have. As a person that likes to keep busy and productive, work has been something that has given me value and identity. I am now doing one of the most important jobs of all, but it has no financial reward (government assistance aside). My husband earns a good wage and the maternity leave provisions at my work are generous so we are doing fine, but I miss the independence of my own money.

Of course my husband and I consider each other’s earnings “ours” but at the moment I cannot escape the fact that he is the only one contributing to the pot. That’s the thought that whispers in my ear as I consider a new dress or shoes. Of course the lack of income also comes at a time when I have plenty of hours to peruse shopping centres!

Previously when I spent $200 on a haircut it made me feel strong and independent – able to lavish cash on something that makes me feel good. Now doing the same thing would make me feel guilty. Again, I feel lucky to be in a position where I can stay at home with Isaac for a while – I know that’s a luxury not afforded every new mum. However, modern society puts so much emphasis on what you do for living that not being part of that world seems to result in some loss of self identity. After all, it’s probably the first thing new people ask when you meet them – “what do you do?”

There is one form of guilt-free shopping – it’s okay if it’s for Isaac. That’s why there are so many cute kids stores out there.