One friend quipped that it was perfectly within reach to have a fulfilling full-time career and still feel herself a fantastic mother - her husband just needed to stay home with their son. When I have suggested that I scale my work down to a few days per week, my husband, who truly does co-parent, says "well, I'd like to do that too." And he has a point - as husbands share the parenting duties, it's only fair that they ask for some of the perks as well.
But it is exhausting to drop Isaac at care, work from 8 - 5, pick up Isaac, get home to frantically make dinner (vegetarian, something a two year old likes to eat and within twenty minutes, thank you very much), put Isaac to bath and bed, catch up on any work that needed to be done but couldn't due to having to leave work at 5pm, fall into bed oneself and repeat. And those are the good days when there is no night waking. Nathan and I share the burden of this routine - one week when he was away for work I literally felt like a robot getting through this on my own and was, as always, amazed by single parents.
This is the price we pay for having it all - there simply isn't time to it all as well as we would like. Isaac is a happy and secure child - very well behaved and only occasionally clingy. His development is on par with his friends and I don't seen any negative behaviors that have emerged as a result of long day care hours. Out of the pair of us - he is doing a-okay!
What I worry about is my own inability to switch off from work mode and into family mode. I find it difficult to compartmentalise and whilst reading Isaac a story, one part of my brain is still solving issues at work. So I feel that Isaac isn't getting the best of me and I am not savoring those precious moments with him. I think this is one of the hardest tricks for parents to learn - to live in those moments with your child.
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