Mother Guilt - Easing up on ourselves

I have written about mother guilt before but I continue to be surprised how we sabotage ourselves with this guilt. I talk to mums who have had to give up breast feeding for very good medical reasons and they still feel guilty that they aren’t giving their baby “the best start in life.” We worry when our kids eat too much/too little, sleep too much/too little and we always believe it’s our fault and that we need to be doing something to address the issue.

I am trying to be pretty laid back about how I raise Zac at the moment. He sleeps through the night and therefore I am really not worried about forcing him into a routine during the day. If he sleeps by himself – great! If he needs me to cuddle him whilst he sleeps – oh well, he won’t want to do that in a few years time and I will enjoy it while I can.

As professional women who are used to solving problems it can be very hard to adjust to something we can’t immediately “fix”. Particularly when what worked yesterday doesn’t work today. But I think we need to ease up on ourselves. This isn’t the kind of job that comes with a performance review or even immediate results. We need to watch the self talk – and ensure that we encourage ourselves. Why is that whenever we change a nappy or have to leave our child resulting in a screaming baby we say things like “Oh, I know Honey, Mummy is so horrible to you but we will be done in just a moment “? We have to leave our babies sometimes and obviously nappies need to be changed. I am as guilty as anyone of doing this, but I am going to try to ease up on myself. I am sure that will make for a happier mummy and a happier baby!