Saturday, June 18, 2011

Adventures in Kiddieland


One of the lovely things about parenting is the liberty it allows you to do all manner of childish things.
Over the last fee weekends I have ice skated, crawled through tunnels at lollipops playland, laughed and cried at Disney movies, riden in a real olden day steam train, rushed around with a towel over my shoulders pretending to be a friendly dragon, played numerous games of chasey, hooned around the verandah on Scooter designed for a two year and blown bubbles into the wind.

There are so many amazing things to do with kids in and around Brisbane.



The ice skating was done at the winter festival currenlty in king George square - http://www.winterfestival.com.au/brisbane. I never thought I would be pushing my son around the ice on an outdoor rink in the middle of Brisbane city. But I did and we loved it.

Each library offers it's own versions of rhyme time and the museum, state library, GOMAand art gallery never fail to have the most amazing kids activities free of charge.

Some of the things Isaac loves to do I think are ordinary but through his eyes become extraordinary - a ride on a train or ferry is an adventure within itself. Watching diggers and trucks at building sites is a wonderful way to spend an hour or two. Spotting buses and motor bikes on a car ride leads to squeals of excitement.

This absolute enthusiasm for life is so joyous and contagious. I look forward to each weekend and the new adventures we will embark on together.


Sunday, June 12, 2011

Motherhood the Musical

Last night I saw Motherhood the Musical with a dear friend. Girls' nights out (or girls' nights off being more accurate as a mother) are always fun and this one was particular good.

The musical is full of moments mothers will identify with - both hilarious and touching. The central premise is around four neighbourhood friends, the youngest of which is expecting her first child. She is full of glowing naivety which the others set about to redress during her surprise baby shower. The three women are already mothers falling into the stereo types of: recently divorced mum, stay at home mum and career mum. Through a number of songs and sly comments the musical demonstrates the wonderful, the mundane, the exhaustion and the elation of motherhood and realionshops.

My only critisicm of the musical - the mums were highly stereo-typed. The career mum formula fed, the stay at home mum feels underappreciated and belittled at times, the divorced mum comfort eats.

Despite the career mum being the one I should have identified with, my favourite character was the wise cracking stay at home mum, who got all the best lines and songs. The very funny "mummy, mummy,mummy" - an observation about the fact you wait excitedly for your baby to say "mummy" and after that point sometimes wish they hadn't as they consistently whine for you all day. And the beautiful "Daniel's Mum" which highlights the sacrfices one makes as a mum but the absolute joy that comes with being the "star" in your child's life and experiencing things from thier point if view. She also has a genius line in a song about lack of bladder control - "I leak like Julian Assange".

I identified closley with the expectant mum and her mile long list of (as one song put it) s&@$ she doesn't need. I remember clearly the lists of ridiculous items outlined in magazines (who are clearly paid to sell said items). Yet as a first time mum with time and money on your side you fall for this hook, line and sinker.

Motherhood the musical is a great night out for mums and mums to be.

Playing at the 12th Night Theater, Bowen Hills, 24th May - 14th June.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Potty Training

Last weekend, I spent three days "intensively" toilet training Isaac.

There are a number of books that advocate this throw-all-nappies-away-and-learn-over-three day approach. My neighbours, who all have kids slightly older than Isaac, put me on to this method (God bless neighours!) They said it was hard work over the three days but definitely worth it because of the results.

So, after some gentle but definite suggestions from daycare that Isaac was "ready" to be toilet trained, we embarked on this adventure. The method I used suggested that 22 months was the ideal time to train - and if you wait until after 30 months you are in for some hard work. At 29 months, Isaac just squeezed through.

During the week I purchased enough underwear to outfit a small army of two year olds, along with numerous bribes and activities to keep us busy over three, stay at home days. For most people the thought of having to clean soiled underwear and dealing with night-time wetting might be the most daunting part of toilet training. For me it was the thought of three days at home.

On Saturday morning Isaac and I cheerfully threw out all his nappies (though I daresay there must still be a few lurking in the backseat of my car). He eagerly wore his new underpants and was generally quite happy with himself. We missed the first accident.

After this, Nathan and I established some rules about who would be watching Isaac like a hawk. Two more accidents were caught and Isaac placed on the potty to finish up. After that, Isaac got what it was all about and let us know when he needed to use the potty. So far so good - and on the afternoon of the first day! At this point Nathan and I were feeling like parental super-stars. That night Isaac was in underwear (all part of the all-in approach) and to my absolute amazement stayed dry all night. At this point I am not sure if Isaac is some kind of toilet training savant or whether this method is the best kept secret in the parenting world.

Of course, by the second day things got a little wobbly - Isaac wasn't letting us know each and every time he needed to use the potty and any patchy attempts to go to the potty were thinly disguised attempts to gain stickers. It was time to bring out the big guns - a number of small plastic dinosaurs. When Isaac went to the potty after asking to go, a dinosaur was given. Cue many trips to the potty with sole purpose of obtaining more dinosaurs. When I told Isaac that the dinosaurs were now only for when he did something really special - like a poo in the potty or staying dry all night, he considered this for a moment before saying "No, I need a dinosaur before I can do a poo". The second night we woke up wet. The third day Isaac improved immensely and we only had one accident.

The fourth day it was off to daycare in underwear. We picked Isaac up that evening with a bag full of wet clothes. So, not quite toilet trained yet. After a couple more nights, he started to stay dry all night again and we have been on a five night streak. The number of plastic bags filled with pants and undies decreased during the week and over this weekend Isaac has gone to the toilet each and every time. I am really proud of him because we were out and about a lot this weekend and he had to use public loos etc.

All in all, I think the training method has really worked and I would recommend it to any parents - just don't think your child is going to be toilet trained beyond any accidents whatsoever after the three days. If you are interested in a quick toilet training method, check out these resources: http://www.3daypottytraining.com/ , http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/ISBN-0977905403.html

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Fulfilling Carer / Fulfilling Career

The other day, in that snatched kind of conversation that you only have with other mothers, we were talking about whether it is realistic to have both a truly fulfilling full-time career and a truly fulfilling experience as a mother. In between admonishing our toddlers to share their bikes, move out of the way of other kids coming down the slide, not to scale up the slide, and to eat some fruit along with the gingerbread cookies, we spoke about work and being a mother.

One friend quipped that it was perfectly within reach to have a fulfilling full-time career and still feel herself a fantastic mother - her husband just needed to stay home with their son. When I have suggested that I scale my work down to a few days per week, my husband, who truly does co-parent, says "well, I'd like to do that too." And he has a point - as husbands share the parenting duties, it's only fair that they ask for some of the perks as well.

But it is exhausting to drop Isaac at care, work from 8 - 5, pick up Isaac, get home to frantically make dinner (vegetarian, something a two year old likes to eat and within twenty minutes, thank you very much), put Isaac to bath and bed, catch up on any work that needed to be done but couldn't due to having to leave work at 5pm, fall into bed oneself and repeat. And those are the good days when there is no night waking. Nathan and I share the burden of this routine - one week when he was away for work I literally felt like a robot getting through this on my own and was, as always, amazed by single parents.

This is the price we pay for having it all - there simply isn't time to it all as well as we would like. Isaac is a happy and secure child - very well behaved and only occasionally clingy. His development is on par with his friends and I don't seen any negative behaviors that have emerged as a result of long day care hours. Out of the pair of us - he is doing a-okay!

What I worry about is my own inability to switch off from work mode and into family mode. I find it difficult to compartmentalise and whilst reading Isaac a story, one part of my brain is still solving issues at work. So I feel that Isaac isn't getting the best of me and I am not savoring those precious moments with him. I think this is one of the hardest tricks for parents to learn - to live in those moments with your child.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

the things kids say

My last post was a little on the sad side and may have read self indulgent. That wasn't my intention, and many mums have confided that they have felt the same way from time to time. But onto happier things ... Isaac is now two years, three months and his every increasing vocabulary as well as the way he expresses things never fails to amuse me. We have been enjoying a number of Isaac-isms that I wanted to share:

"Happy Birthday" - no one just has a birthday, everyone has a "happy birthday". Used in a sentence - "it's your happy birthday today". Also fond of singing happy birthday whenever candles appear, whether this be due to an actual birthday cake or because we happen to be in a black-out.

"Noisy" - used as both an adjective and a noun. Used in a sentence - "Motor Bike making a noisy"

We recently purchased the movie Madagascar on DVD and Isaac's favourite bit is the "I like to move it" song. In fact, he likes it so much that he when he requests Madagascar to go on he says "I like to move it, move it" and when he wants to watch any other DVD he says "I don't like to move it, move it"

Whenever he sneezes he now says "Bless You Isaac"

We recently went on a camping trip with friends. Two of Isaac's best mates were there, Finley and Finn. When asked whether he like camping, he replied, "I love Finns"

Right now, I think I will never forget these, but I am sure that time will dull my memory and when Isaac is mono-syllabic teenager, I will be glad I recorded the memories.

Cute things, part two (from that ever present way of updating friends about the cute things your kids say - Faceook):

  • Isaac is always coming up with gorgeous sayings and my current favourite is "ooh that's a little bit tricky". Used to describe anything he doesn't really want to do - eg. Isaac please eat your peas, "mummy, that's a little bit tricky".
  • Watching the Victoria Secret parade on Foxtel and asked Isaac if he thought the ladies were pretty - he said "yes", paused and then said "but I am pretty too."

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The mean reds

Every mother I know with young children would tell you that it's the best time of their lives. But it can also be the hardest. Most moments are full of sparkling joy, but there are moments of hardship and sadness. Some of those are obvious - when your child is sick or they hurt themselves or the moment you realise that you cannot protect them from everything. But then there are other moments - harder to define, but no less difficult.

Sunday morning I had one of those moments. What do you do when a feeling more akin to Holly Golightly's mean reds*, rather than the blues, seizes you? My first reaction is guilt. I have a wonderful life filled with people I love. My family is healthy and we are financially secure. There is very little room in my life for complaint. Yet whether the lack of sleep finally caught up with me or Isaac’s neediness finally wore me down, on Sunday morning was inconsolable and struggled to understand why.

And, in a self-destructive way, I turn on my husband in moments like these. Nathan tries to understand, asks "what's wrong" and then offers a host of solutions. With great difficulty I try to articulate a feeling I don't quite understand and fall short. Instead I cite lack of sleep, lack of time to just be still, Isaac being too demanding. Problems with solutions.

The thing is, I know that I should give myself a break at work. I know that I don't have to accept every invitation to every single thing on the weekend. I know that if I did these things, that I would have more time to myself, to rest, to renew. What I don't know is how to be that person. I thrive on pressure at work and time with my friends and family is dear to me. Most of the time, these things are not a problem.

When the mean reds descend, it isn't solutions I want. The fact is that I don't know what I want and that is the crux of the issue. A sadness descends and guilt follows and frustration ices the cake. That Sunday morning I went to a BBQ brunch with a number of my mother’s group friends. As they asked me how I was, I was glad for large dark glasses hiding tears that I couldn’t fight. But at the same time I know that these mums have no doubt had these same feelings, and if anybody is going to understand it would be my dear friends. One of my lovely friends gave me the most helpful advice – Just be kinder to yourself. And perhaps that’s the most important thing to realise – when the mean reds visit, be kind enough to yourself to give yourself a break. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to run, run. If you need to scream, scream. And know that everything is better the next morning.

*Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul Varjak: The mean reds. You mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat, and maybe it's been raining too long. You're just sad, that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid, and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Crocodile themed second birthday party

Before Isaac, Nathan and I would attend our toddler nieces' and nephew's lavish birthday parties. We would look at the number of people, the money invested in balloons and food, the time invested in invitations and decorations, shake our heads and vow that if/when we had kids, we'd keep it simple. Fast forward to Isaac's second birthday and of course I did anything but.

Isaac's actual birthday falls on the 24th December, but the past two years we have had his birthday party mid January to avoid Christmas conflicts. As most of Isaac's friends are born in November, my thoughts turned to birthday season a few months ahead of time. This is a double edged sword - I had plenty of time to prepare and plan but I also based the theme on Isaac's November obsession - crocodiles. Whilst Isaac's obsessions are passionate, they are not necessarily long-lived and by the time December started we had well and truly moved onto trains (in particular Thomas the Tank Engine). Nonetheless, we had planned a pool party around crocodiles and that is what we went with.

Isaac's birthday party date ended up falling smack bang in the middle of the Brisbane flood clean-up weekend. With a fair amount of angst (and failing ice supplies) we decide to go ahead with the party as we thought a bit of joy wouldn't go astray.

For anyone else thinking of a crocodile theme, here are some tips:
  • A foil crocodile balloon was bought online for $9, and then filled up with helium at the local party store for $6. This is much, much cheaper than buying the whole thing from party stores, which would have been around $25.

  • I made little crocodile pegs to top brown paper bags. These served as the party treat bags. I simply spray painted wooden pegs green, added googly eyes (they have to be the smallest you can get), added teeth with white out and placed cardboard ridges on top. You could add magnets to the back of the pegs, so that they become fridge magnets to hold artworks etc. Pegs and paper bags are dirt cheap, so this is a really cute cheap way to make party bags.


  • I made a big crocodile for the centre of the table out of egg cartons, and he held lollies and chocolates.


  • I also made some little crocodiles out of cardboard to hang and place on the tables.

  • The invitations were made out of cardboard and in the shape of crocodile, whose mouth you opened to read the details.

  • My mum and sister made gorgeous little cupcakes, topped with lolly crocodiles swimming on blue icing.


Do I think Isaac and his friends appreciated all of this? Maybe, maybe not - Isaac certainly loved the cake! But at the end of the day, it's nice to indulge in a bit of art and craft and I had a ball making and planning it all. And after all, isn't this kind of thing one of the perks of parenthood?

Thursday, January 13, 2011

What I thought would be floods of tears

I am four days into my first full time working week after two years at home with Isaac. I would have presumed this blog post would about missing my baby or not remembering what five days of work felt like. Instead, I find myself amidst the worst natural disaster Brisbane has seen in three decades. When Isaac was ten months old, I returned to full time work for a couple months during the hurly burly of a move and then a merge. After that, I had a welcome reprieve and the option to work two days a week for a year. I had rather hoped my second return to full time work would be less exciting.

My workstation overlooks the Brisbane River. Over the past few days I have watched that river steadily expand her breadth, swallowing bike paths, then ferry stops and finally onto museums, ferris wheels and city streets. Like every other person I know I have been watching in amazement as helicopters stream footage of a swamped Suncorp Stadium, suburbs submerged and the roofs of flooded buildings that are nowhere near the river. I have been sent emails and seen images on Facebook of friend's houses that were inches away from being swallowed by the relentless tide. Everyone in Brisbane would know a dozen people barely spared and another half dozen who have lost everything. Yet against this devastation the sun has been shining for the first time in weeks, coinciding with an unexpected few days off for many. Looking out on my back yard, shiny and new after weeks of rain, the sun beating down on too-long grass, it is hard to imagine the destruction only a few suburbs away.

As part of an IT team, our job is to ensure continuity of service and for the last few days that's exactly what our team has been trying to achieve. Today I was in the office and the city was a surreal. Even those that were at work were dressed casually - not a suit in sight. Families were cycling, tourists were taking photos, people lined bridges to watch the debris rush by on the wake of a rapidly receding river. The atmosphere was almost rebellious and carnival like. When I picked up Isaac from care, there were families playing at every park I passed. Older kids were riding bikes or playing games on deserted roads. There was a nostalgic kind of joy about people unexpectedly freed up to do nothing but enjoy the sunshine.

Watching the relentless stream of media, which is surely as adamant as the river herself, one would never see this other side of the flood. Instead there seems to be a focus on trying to create the most upsetting headlines. When I was trying to assess whether we would be without power, the Courier Mail's sensational headline "plunging the Brisbane CBD into darkness" was less than helpful. Instead, updates from friends in the know on Facebook were much more useful. In the end of course only portions of the CBD were without power.

Facebook has proved its worth as a communication tool, with the QLD Police providing excellent updates and many businesses (ourselves included) utilising it to communicate with their staff. It has also provided a forum for people to connect quickly with necessary donations and volunteers. The number of my friends on Facebook that have offered their homes and their help is staggering. I, like many others I know, have been cheered by the generosity of so many.

We will gather our strength as a city. We will rebuild her and we will gather around our neighbours and help them back to their feet. But we will do so with a good measure of humour and enjoy the good with the bad. Just take a look at the bronzed Wally Lewis, sporting scuba gear and floaties in front of Suncorp Stadium.

One of my friends once said to me that Brisbanites always consider their city just on the cusp of growing up, but never quite there. This might be what pushes us into adulthood.