- Sit down and talk about how you would each parent, including your own experiences as a child. Specifically for a newborn talk about whether you will be trying to get your baby into a feeding routine straight away or whether you will demand feed. Also talk about how you feel about co-sleeping.
- Talk about how your partner will be involved in baby care – nappy changes, baths, cuddles, settling and feeding (expressed or formula) as well as how you will share care of the house. Talk about your expectations of each other and what you will accept. Are you okay with having a messy house? Not having a cooked meal each evening?
- If you are breast feeding you will feel that you are doing the lioness’ share of the work. Recognise that and try not to resent your partner for it. Don’t feel guilty about getting them to help out in other ways.
- You will both be tired and if something frustrates you, you are likely to take it out on each other. It’s going to be something small and silly and escalate into something bigger where you might say something you don’t mean. If you feel yourself getting frustrated try to catch that feeling early and remove yourself from the situation. This might be counting to ten or leaving the room.
- If an argument does escalate try to resolve your issue prior to going to bed. Once you have both cooled down, talk out what the underlying issues are.
- Keep kissing and cuddling – affection is really important and it will relax you.
- Make time to laugh together every day. Look at your newborn together and enjoy your new family.
Nathan and I have a very strong relationship and this advice is aimed at couples with a similar experience. If you are really struggling with your partner and a newborn, getting in touch with Realtionships Australia - http://www.relationships.com.au/ might help.
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