Problem Solving with a baby

As an IT manager you are constantly solving problems. Technical issues are generally quite gratifying to solve – you have a set of circumstances and by either a process of elimination or a thorough knowledge of the system you fix the issue. Everyone around you hails you as a hero and you feel rather chuffed with yourself.

Trying to find out why a baby is crying is proving rather different. The process of elimination still works well – is it a dirty nappy? Is he hungry? Cold? Hot? Windy? In need of a cuddle? The problem arises when you exhaust these options and baby is still crying. The books say that sometimes babies just cry and all that really helps is focusing on the fact that “this too will pass”. That’s all very zen and I am trying to adopt that relaxed attitude. But when the cry of your baby pierces the air, pitiful and pleading, and you can do nothing to comfort him you feel less than relaxed. We are learning the cries – loud, high pitched and getting louder and increasingly high pitched is a “feed me” cry. A lower cry that doesn’t change is a “pick me up” cry. Isaac is a great baby and we have only had a few crying jags that last about half an hour. So I really feel for those that have “colicky” babies that cry often and apparently without reason. Particularly when you are used to being able to fix issues, it’s frustrating to be faced with a seemingly inconsolable little one. What we are trying is:

1. Always offer the breast if you are breast feeding. For Isaac, even if he isn’t hungry this tends to settle him.
2. If you are getting “over it”or feeling like you are going to "lose it" pass the baby over to someone else.
3. Talk to your baby through the screams – for some reason this makes me feel a little more in control.
4. Realise that this isn’t your fault or the baby’s fault. Take a few deep breaths. Any relaxation exercises you may have used during your antenatal classes might help.