Things you never thought of until you have baby

There are certain moments that occur with a newborn baby that you are totally unprepared for. I am not talking about the sleep deprivation or the surprising range of a baby boy pee or just how much love you feel your baby. I am talking about the little things that affect your life in ways you didn’t expect.

The other day I was preparing to head out with Isaac to a shopping centre – just him and I. Suddenly I thought struck me – what was I going to do if I had to go the bathroom? In a panic I asked hubby for his advice. With a wry smile he suggested that I hang Isaac, baby carrier and all, on the hook they have on the back of toilets. Then came the slightly more sensible suggestion of using the disabled loo and taking the pram. However, for someone who is a very adamant about closing the bathroom door, this all seemed contrary to my nature. Instead I resolved that I just wouldn’t go to the bathroom when I was out with Isaac. I had flash backs to a trip to Africa we had a few years ago. The only bathroom option whilst driving out on the plains was, well, out on the plains. If I have strong pelvic floor muscles, it’s nothing to do with pregnancy exercise and everything to do with “holding on” whilst being bumped and jostled in a jeep over Africa.

I am lucky enough to live near a gorgeous group of women who have little children. The other night we all went out for a girls’ dinner, leaving our hubbies holding the babies. Of course the discussion was centred around our kids. I felt quite sorry for the only one of our number who doesn’t have a baby – I do remember being bored by conversations about other people’s offspring. However, as much as your promise “you won’t be that parent”, you end up that way. It wasn’t until I realised that we were quite happily discussing poo that I realised that I had turned into that mother.

Other things that have surprised me are: just how much you can get done with one hand whilst nursing a baby with the other, how fast little ones grow out of clothing, how long you can spend staring at them sleep and how much fun it is to be a mum.

Baby's first shopping trip

We had our first proper shopping trip with Isaac to the DFO the other day. Rather than driving around the car park tailing people who looked like they were leaving we swung into a pram park right outside the shopping centre. Glee was all over Nathan’s face! After wrestling with the pram (only slightly) we were all inside the centre. As often occurs when we shop, Nathan looked at his stores and I wandered around the ones I liked. Well I tried to whilst manoeuvring a pram around fixtures – I have a new found respect for those with mobility issues. I found a top that I liked and wanted to try on and came across a new problem – change rooms are not built for prams. So rather hesitantly I let the shop keeper keep an eye on Isaac as I changed – all the while feeling that I was a terrible mother to do so. After that, Nathan and I shopped as a team!

When you have a new baby you are suddenly admitted into the parents club. The closest I can liken it to is when you buy a new car and suddenly everyone with same model waves or gives a knowing nod as you pass each other on the freeway. Well apparently a similar set of rules apply with children. You are asked how old, when was he born, whether he’s your first, how you are finding it and so the list goes on. Everyone is suddenly incredibly helpful and friendly – which is lovely. I had a nice natter to a lady who was saying that slings are most definitely the way to go in shopping centres rather than trying to manage a pram. I am one of those people that can never seem to steer a shopping trolley in the right direction, so I am a little challenged when it comes to the pram and her advice made sense to me.

Time seems to exist in some sort of vortex with shopping centres and our 2 hour shopping trip (to coincide with feeds) stretched to three hours. So I was off to another parents’ room – and again I was surprised by the palatial dimensions. We are really lucky to have these kinds of facilities and I am grateful to whoever lobbied for us to get them.

I can’t say that shopping with a baby is quite as relaxing as it used to be but it was still a fun experience and at least I got a few tops that I can breast-feed comfortably in. On the way out another parent spied us with our new bub getting into the car. “Pram parks” she smiled, “best thing about children” and then laughed – “No, there are lots of wonderful things – just wait and see” and so we shall!

Top 5 things you wish someone would have told you about caring for a newborn

There are a few things that I wish someone had told me...

1. 1. Buy nappies online – it’s as cheap as or cheaper than from the supermarket and it’s so easy when it’s delivered to your door. One less thing to worry about! I use http://www.nappysupplies.com.au/ and literally the nappies are at my door within hours.


2. If you are breastfeeding, express a little milk each day or second day. This allows you freedom to go out without worrying about needing to be home within a certain time to feed baby. It also allows your partner to take a night time feed, giving you much needed rest! I find that the plastic bags you can buy from chemists to store and freeze breast milk the most useful. I also think an electric breast pump is a good investment.


3. It will actually be a wonderful time! So many books and magazines seem to focus on the transition to motherhood being a difficult and trying time. I have been very lucky, but I have found motherhood to be nothing but pure joy. I really had assumed that the first six weeks were going to be awful but have been pleasantly surprised to find that they have been lovely (so far!).


4. Do not put yourself under house arrest. The wonderful thing about newborns is how portable they are! They sleep a lot of the time and fit into slings and capsules. Go out to dinner or lunch – make sure that you “rejoin” the world as soon as you feel up to it. Whether that's with your baby or catching up with a friend while someone else minds bub (again express, express, express!). With baby, shopping centres are a great option as they have fabulous parent rooms. I assumed a parent room would be a small room with a chair but most are full on lounges with TVs, microwaves for heating milk and loads of comfortable seating for breastfeeding. Most seem to be the size of a small house! If anybody tells you that you shouldn't be out with such a small baby remind that s/he had to get home from the hospital somehow.


5. Read, read, read but realise that the expert on your baby and you is you and your baby. Books will often give conflicting advice and other people definitely will. Get to know your baby first and foremost. Use the helpful advice, setting aside anything that doesn’t work for you.