Crafty Bug - Cloth nappies re-born

Occassionally I will get an urge to get crafty and generally a succession of craft projects (all with varying degrees of sucess) will ensue. When we were first pregnant I bought and was given quite a large number of cloth nappies. At the time I had intentions of using them as nappies but we have converted to the cult of the disposal diaper. Instead they are used variously as spit-up cloths, breast-feeding privacy screens, washers for feeding time, change mats and so on. But we still have a number that don't get used so I made a change table cover and some bibs out of the neglected.

We generally put something over our plastic change table mat as it's slippery and cold and unpleasant for a little bottom. However, if you put a blanket over the mat it tends to just slip around. I sewed two nappies together and the folded over the ends at the short sides and sewed them down. This then slipped over the change table and hey presto! a cover that stays put. I still put another nappy over this so that it can be cleaned quickly and easily if we have any accidents.

To make the bibs, I found a bib that I liked and used it as a template. You should get two good sized bibs out of a cloth nappy if you are okay with a one-layer bib. If you prefer a thicker bib, sew the two together. Put velcro at the joining ends.

On one bib I appliqued a tie and the other I fronted with some fabric we had left over from Isaac's nursery - inspiration for the tie bib came from http://indietutes.blogspot.com/2009/05/tie-bib.html. Then I used bias binding around the bibs to finish them off. Whilst we can have too many cloth nappies, it seems we can never have enough bibs!

Bubs & Beans - going out for coffee with littlies

I read a blog on news.com.au the other day discussing taking babies out to cafes - naughty corner blog . Whilst the gist of the blog was discussing cafes with good facilities for children, the comments turned into a debate as to whether babies and small children should be welcomed at cafes at all. I understand that people don't want a side order of screaming child with their latte but some of the comments were surprisingly bitter. From the innocently naive "when I have children I won't be going to cafes with them at all", to the tongue in cheek peppered with a grain of salt "people with children should be locked up at home and not be allowed to come out into general society". However, the comments I found most obnoxious was the suggestion that McCafe was the appropriate place to take children if you want a coffee. Sorry, but drinking sub-standard coffee in an artificially lit, sterile environment, more often than not situated on a main road whilst my child is indoctrinated into the religion of the golden arches is not something I am interested in.

I would never take Isaac to a fancy restaurant but I have taken him to cafes and he has been well behaved. There is obviously a difference between a 7 month old happily playing or dozing in his pram and a two year throwing a tantrum and when we get that far we may need to revise our cafe policy. A number of things need to be given consideration - the comfort and happiness of the child, the need for social interaction (and caffeine!) on the part of the mother, the comfort of other patrons and also the business interests of the owners of the cafe (something not discussed in the article or the comments). Like most things in life tolerance and understanding is needed on all sides. Those that sneer at the approach of a pram and bluster and swear about it's presence meaning they have to take a detour to their table need to show a little more of that tolerance. Parents who let their children run riot and expect the wait staff to act as child minders need to show some respect. One aspect of this discussion that I only realised after taking to a colleague who owns a restaurant is the impact of mothers groups coffees on cafes. The inevitable re-arranging of furniture, the purchase of only a few coffees and then the hours spent sitting in the cafe discussing motherly issues doesn't make for a particularly profitable transaction and other patrons do feel put out. I didn't really see it from this side before but he makes a good point. A good mothers group option is finding a park with a cafe nearby that does take-aways.

Photographing Baby

One of the things we joke about in our house is just how many photos I take of Isaac. When he was very little, each new outfit or expression was worthy of taking a picture. Eventually I realised that it didn't matter what he was wearing or how he looked I'd think he was the cutest tot out and want to capture every moment. So I have held back a little - perhaps 2 or 3 photos a day rather than 10! I am no fantastic photographer, but I have found that the following tips make for great pictures:

1. Natural light makes for the best photos - I find that the photos I take in the park are always the nicest
2. Fill the frame with baby's face - close ups are always gorgeous
3. If baby is not in a great mood, you can always take very cute photos of feet and hands. I have a series of these hanging in our hallway
4. To get baby's attention, rattle or toy or some keys near her eye line and then gradually move the key/toys away
5. Get other people into the pictures (Dad, Mum, Grandparents etc.) I have found that people have naturally lovely expressions when they play with babies.
6. Convert some photos to black and white or sepia - they instantly look professional!
7. Get down low when taking photos so that they are not all from above

It's also way too easy to leave 100s of lovely photos on the digital camera and never print them out. The fact is you are more likely to look over an album than photos on your PC, so make sure that you do get them printed out.

I also found this article - http://digital-photography-school.com/mono-with-a-dash-of-colour-photoshop-cs2-tutorial - not so long ago on how to bring colour into photos converted to black and white. I think it's a cute effect.

Normally the person behind the camera is mum - a friend of mine commented "my son is going to look at his baby photos and think his Dad looked after him all the time!" So make sure that you enlist the help of someone else to take some family shots every now and then and occasionally hand the camera over to Dad.

Happy Snapping!

Comparisons

Mothers groups are wonderful. It's such a pleasure to catch up with other mums who know exactly what you are going through. However there is always the temptation to compare bubs. Isaac is at least a month younger than most of the babies we know, so he is and always will be a little behind in achieving milestones. Adding to that the fact that he was born a month early, I know I have to give him time to get there. However, when everyone pops their baby on their tummy and the other babies raise their heads high on strong arms, Isaac gently lays his cheek against the floor and decides it's as good a time as any for a nap. I start to feel that twinge of mother guilt - what I am doing wrong? Until another mother looks wistfully at Isaac and says "I wish my baby could put himself to sleep like that." At the same time I am thinking "I need to give him more tummy time - he is so behind the other babies". Yet, just shy of 6 months, he decided the other day to roll over. I watched him roll, very precisely, from his back onto his tummy. He played there for a while and then rolled from his tummy to his back. I had been worrying for weeks that he hadn't rolled yet and was very behind on basic milestones.

Isaac has excelled at two things since birth - eating and sleeping (ah he is his father's son). We have had 10 hour stretches of sleep at night since he was around 9 weeks old, for which I am incredibly grateful. I am sure that this was no magic on my part and just an incredible stroke of luck. We have recently started solids and we can't shovel the carrot in fast enough for our little man. One mothers group I was feeding Isaac his favourite carrot when another mother asked "how is doing that? I must be doing something wrong." Mother's groups are wonderful but we need to make sure that we don't assume we are doing something wrong when the babies around us appear to be doing things differently. As I keep reminding myself - by the time they are 3 years old, they will have all caught up to one another. In the meantime I am enjoying my little baby whilst I can.

The great motherhood debate

A little while ago I picked up a copy of my Child magazine and on the whole considered it a good read. However, I took issue with one of the articles, and it appears quite a few other people did to. Here is the link to the article and to the responses (including mine).

Going Solo

These past few days have given me a new-found respect for single mums ( & those mums whose partners don't contribute to the household).  At touch last week Nathan hurt his ankle.  I was busy chatting to Isaac on the sidelines when I heard someone say "I think Nathan's hurt - he's limping." Now, Nathan has a habit of limping after playing most sports so I said "Oh, that's just how he is after a bit of a run."  I looked up briefly to see Nathan collapse on the ground, rolling and clinging to his foot.   So after gaining a reputation as an uncaring wife, I dutifully found some ice and took Nathan home at half time.  A trip to the physio later and we establish that whilst his Achilles tendon is intact, it's undergone a fair bit of trauma and Nathan needs to stay off it as much as possible.   These past few days, he has taken residence on the couch, with his ankle iced and elevated.  Unfortunately, Isaac has chosen this exact time to go through a clingy "only- mummy-will-do" phase.  Balancing a crying baby, whilst making dinner and cleaning with no help has given me a new perspective on both how much Nathan does do around the house as well a small insight into single mum's lives.  Nathan is of course terribly frustrated that he cannot settle Isaac at the moment.  The other day he was determined to hold him.  Isaac cried and looked at me beseechingly through the tears, his chubby little hands reaching out.  I looked beseechingly at Nathan to hand him over.  "No, he needs to learn that he can't always go to you."  Eventually the tears stopped but it does make me wonder how we will manage when I go back to work.

Exercise & Body Stuff

I always hoped to be one of those women who slip back into their pre-baby jeans a few weeks after birth.  Unfortunately, this is not to be - I am stuck somewhere between a size 12 & 14 and nothing fits quite right.  My size 10 jeans are currently sitting in the closet mocking me.  The baby belly belt still comes out occasionally to make pants fit.  I can forget about any of my tighter fitting pre-baby tops as my previously modest breasts have taken on Pammy proportions.   However, as much as I want to lose those kgs, exercise and eating well seem a bit like hard work.  Particularly as breast feeding has turned me back into a teenager, appetite-wise.  As some one who has always been fairly slim for my height without having to do too much about it, I range from total apathy about the situation to feeling a little depressed.  But not really depressed enough to do much about it.  During pregnancy I religiously did a pilates DVD each and every morning.  Now, Isaac's feeding time pretty much coincides with when I used to do that exercise.   I know that I shouldn't whinge about it and I should just do something about it, but it's so much easier said than done.   I really prefer team sports and to do that we need to organise a baby sitter.

The other night my best friend minded Zac and I played touch football after about a year being away from it.  I play with my husband's work team.  Apart from clearly demonstrating how unfit I have become (and to be honest I wasn't that fit to start with!), I had a great time.  I love and adore being a mother but there are moments when you wish you could capture parts of your life pre-baby.  Being back out on the touch field felt a bit like that.  So perhaps exercise is not only an option to bring back the pre-baby girlish body, but also an opportunity to touch base with that pre-baby girl.

Misconceptions

In my early twenties I read Noami Wolf's book misconceptions and, at the time, considered a collection of good excuses not to have children.  I thought it would be interesting to re-read as a new mother.  Overwhelming, Noami's experience seemed to be a negative one.  Of course, she talks about the love you have your baby that nothing can prepare you for - that's standard in books of this ilk.  She tackles issues that may be more prevalent in the US then they are here, such as the lack of maternity leave options and the attitudes of health care professionals to expectant mothers.  In her book she talks about the dismissive way she was treated by her doctors - as though she herself was the infant she was carrying.  I found that the midwives at the mater were excellent - they explained things thoroughly - even when I asked about things like not vaccinating one of the midwives was honest enough to tell me that she had decided not immunise her own children and her reasons why.  This would be definitely against the hospital line but I appreciated her honesty.  My birth experience was very positive and I laboured quickly so I cannot comment on whether the hospital would have intervened before nature intended.  This is a large part of what Wolf writes about it - that hospital's deliver babies in a way that's best for them and their insurance policies, rather than what's best for mother and baby.  I have been lucky and the doctors and midwives I have dealt with were respectful. When Isaac was very seriously jaundiced and needed to go under lights I asked several questions about his SBR levels, treatment and what, if any, problems could arise in later life.  The doctors answered all my questions but when I talked to one of the nurses the next evening, asking about his SBRs etc. she looked at me in surprise and assumed that I was actually a trained medical professional.  I found that attitude interesting - that I wouldn't know any medical information about my baby unless I actually was a doctor, midwife or nurse by profession.  I think this shows that it's something that mothers need to meet in the middle on - we should be treated with respect by our baby's health carers, but we should also learn as much as we can ourselves.  

The "money thing"

I have always enjoyed my career and the freedom that an income of my own provides. From the time I was 14 and able to work, I have. As a person that likes to keep busy and productive, work has been something that has given me value and identity. I am now doing one of the most important jobs of all, but it has no financial reward (government assistance aside). My husband earns a good wage and the maternity leave provisions at my work are generous so we are doing fine, but I miss the independence of my own money.

Of course my husband and I consider each other’s earnings “ours” but at the moment I cannot escape the fact that he is the only one contributing to the pot. That’s the thought that whispers in my ear as I consider a new dress or shoes. Of course the lack of income also comes at a time when I have plenty of hours to peruse shopping centres!

Previously when I spent $200 on a haircut it made me feel strong and independent – able to lavish cash on something that makes me feel good. Now doing the same thing would make me feel guilty. Again, I feel lucky to be in a position where I can stay at home with Isaac for a while – I know that’s a luxury not afforded every new mum. However, modern society puts so much emphasis on what you do for living that not being part of that world seems to result in some loss of self identity. After all, it’s probably the first thing new people ask when you meet them – “what do you do?”

There is one form of guilt-free shopping – it’s okay if it’s for Isaac. That’s why there are so many cute kids stores out there.

Baby Love

When I look at Isaac I feel a depth of love that I never thought possible. Every little gurgle and smile makes my heart burst. To see him being cuddled by his father is the most beautiful sight I have ever be-held. When he sleeps through the night (bless him), I miss not having seen him in a number of hours. And when he cries I feel his pain as though it is my own. In short, like millions of women before me and millions of women after, I am completely in love with my baby.

Before I had Isaac people would tell me that you cannot comprehend a mother’s love until you are one. I didn’t believe a word of it and thought it arrogant to assume that one kind of love wasn't attainable by all people – but now I find it to be true and it gives me a new perspective on my relationship with my own mother. I remember back to those tumultuous teenage years when I raged against my parents – throwing their love back in their face. As teenagers go, I wasn’t terrible – I got good grades, had nice friends, didn’t dabble in alcohol or drugs and was relatively sensible. But, like all good teenagers, I did feel that my parents had no understanding of me. Whilst it’s years and years away, it already breaks my heart that no doubt Isaac will go through the same thing with us.

At the moment I am his world. When he is held by another person, he looks around to make sure that he can see me. Sometimes I am the only one that can soothe his cries. It’s impossible not to feel special. And whereas the fact that one day he won’t need me like that saddens me, what saddens me more is the fact that some babies don’t have someone adoring them. It is hard to believe that there are some children out there that don't get this absolute love lavished upon them. I read somewhere that babies want you to delight in them. I cannot help but delight in my little boy.

Mother Guilt - Easing up on ourselves

I have written about mother guilt before but I continue to be surprised how we sabotage ourselves with this guilt. I talk to mums who have had to give up breast feeding for very good medical reasons and they still feel guilty that they aren’t giving their baby “the best start in life.” We worry when our kids eat too much/too little, sleep too much/too little and we always believe it’s our fault and that we need to be doing something to address the issue.

I am trying to be pretty laid back about how I raise Zac at the moment. He sleeps through the night and therefore I am really not worried about forcing him into a routine during the day. If he sleeps by himself – great! If he needs me to cuddle him whilst he sleeps – oh well, he won’t want to do that in a few years time and I will enjoy it while I can.

As professional women who are used to solving problems it can be very hard to adjust to something we can’t immediately “fix”. Particularly when what worked yesterday doesn’t work today. But I think we need to ease up on ourselves. This isn’t the kind of job that comes with a performance review or even immediate results. We need to watch the self talk – and ensure that we encourage ourselves. Why is that whenever we change a nappy or have to leave our child resulting in a screaming baby we say things like “Oh, I know Honey, Mummy is so horrible to you but we will be done in just a moment “? We have to leave our babies sometimes and obviously nappies need to be changed. I am as guilty as anyone of doing this, but I am going to try to ease up on myself. I am sure that will make for a happier mummy and a happier baby!

Mothers Group Ideas

Isaac and I are lucky enough to be part of two wonderful mothers groups. We look forward to catching up with the other mums and babies and sharing how we are going. Thankfully, both groups are very open and honest and there has been an absence of competitive parenting.

Instead, we talk about how we are managing sleep and feeding issues as well as just general new-mum talk. We have also been talking about what we are going to do in the coming weeks. I thought I’d post our list of ideas:

• Babes in Arms – BCC cinemas host babe in arms movie session for $8.50 where bubs are welcome.
• Story Time and Ryhme Time – City Council libraries host story times and rhyme times for babies – check out Whats On at your library – http://www.brisbane.qld.gov.au/BCC:BASE::pc=PC_2361
• Picnics in a park
• Photo Session – a chance to get some nice photos of you and Bub instead of you always being behind the camera!
• Footprint & Handprint art – get some canvasses and get creative and messy with creating works of art with your babies. You can get very small canvasses that will accommodate a baby foot print or handprint – you can pop some magnetic material on the back and it makes a lovely fridge magnet that can be posted to family and friends. I am hoping our group will get some very large canvasses so that we can put all our babies footprints and hand prints on it.
• Favourite Stories – share your own favourite books with the other babies and mums
• Baby Yoga
• Baby Massage
• Go out without the kids and get to know each other in a more grown up environment such as dinner or (can I say it?) clubbing!
• BBQ with the hubbies/partners & bubs
• Grandmothers morning tea - where everyone brings along their mother/mother in law

I am sure that our list of activities will grow but this will be a fabulous start!

Beating Boredom

When I was considering the prospect of maternity leave I was always worried that I would be very bored at home. Even now, friends ask if I am finding it a bit dreary (most of those friends don’t have kids!) Those with little ones told me that I was crazy and I finding time would be the problem, rather than deciding how to spend it.

The reality is that I do have a lot more spare time than I used to. As I have written before, that’s an unusual situation to find one-self in and I would feel bad about squandering it or complaining about it. So I am filling my days with visiting friends and family and getting a little bit creative.

Baking is a great way to fill the time (although it’s not a great way to get back into pre-baby shape). I have made little rabbits for Easter and a set of origami collages for our bedroom. I love to sew and it’s wonderful to be able to get into that again (although the overlocker really is too loud for Isaac). Via my trusty Blackberry I still can catch up with what’s happening at work, which makes me feel still connected to that life. It is relaxing to be at home – to be able to visit my mum or grandmother whenever they or I like. In a way, it’s a window into a simpler time. I love my career and I couldn’t be a full time housewife but I am enjoying this little break!

Driving

I have just recently acquired my driver’s license. For a long time I was one of those people who begged lifts and had the kind of intimate knowledge of bus time tables normally reserved for pensioners and school kids. I am an expert at public transport, including mastering the somewhat tricky balance of remembering to press the bell for your stop as well as keeping your go card in hand to swipe off. Unfortunately, bubs and busses are not an ideal combination. Prams are unwieldy when you are by yourself and carrying your baby in a moving vehicle seems a little dangerous. So now I have to master being a driver. If you see someone on the road in Brisbane going 40ks or stopping for an inordinate amount of time at a roundabout – it may be me. You see, having a brand new car, driving with a baby and having just received your license are a recipe for overtly cautious driving. Ah, the number of times I back-seat drove with my mother admonishing her for not going when there was a clear gap in traffic – it’s all turned back on me now.

I love my new car but I am still a bit afraid of her. Whenever I return from a trip out unscathed and in one piece I am just a tiny little bit surprised. You’re meant to get your license at 17 or 18 because you have no fear and you are going to live forever – I am sure no teenager feels like a nervous wreck behind the wheel! The other day I was coming back from Carindale after doing some shopping. I drove along congratulating myself on a splendid bit of parking and a smooth trip. Then the beeping started. It would disappear and then suddenly get louder. I snuck a look in my rear view mirror to see a 4WD bearing down on me. My sister’s, somewhat colourful , term for this kind of driving is “If that car drives any further up my arse, it had better take me out for dinner.” My mind was racing - could rear parking senses be set off by a tail-gater? I pulled into the next side street and called Nathan and asked for his opinion. He somewhat dryly commented that rear sensors only work when the car is in reverse and if we did have sensors they would have gone off when I attempted to collect the mailbox reversing out of our driveway the other day. Point taken, I got out of the car and checked that all doors were closed. They were. I pulled out and as soon as the car reached 20Ks, the beeping started and got louder. There were no lights on the dashboard to indicate what could be the problem. I pulled over again and called the Mazda service line. After hearing me describe the problem he asked “Now love, I don’t mean to sound sexist, but is your handbag on the seat next to you?” “I have a bag of groceries sitting there” I replied. “Okay, just put that on the floor.” He advised. I began to ask why when it clicked – the bag must have moved in transit and was heavy enough to set off the passenger seatbelt alert. I had a good laugh and he assured me that I wasn’t the first to ring with this issue. The rest of the trip passed without incident apart from Isaac probably wondering what his insane mother kept giggling about.

Magazine Envy

I am a complete magazine addict. Interior decorating, Fashion, Food, Art, Literature, Technology, Business, trashy gossip magazines – none are safe. I love the feel of a thick glossy magazine, the promises on the cover page fill me with anticipation and excitement. Rarely does a magazine live up to its glamorous cover, but I still go back for more. So when I was pregnant I of course devoured pregnancy magazines. I could tell you the “week by week look at your baby!” off by heart, as it seems this MUST be included in any pregnancy mag worth it’s Elevit. I loved reading the “real life” birth stories and cooing over the cute clothes (for bump and for baby). When Isaac was born I graduated to parenting magazines. And it is here that I have become quite disappointed. The tone of most of these magazines is incredibly judgemental. Articles admonish working mothers for even considering child care, much less leaving your child in a centre. And despite the fact that mothers that work are frowned upon, they are still encouraged to buy the $65 romper suit on page 45. They invariably feature a number of mums who have set up their own internet business and have been wildly successful. Even though those mums admit to working 14 hour days, they are seen as quite acceptable as they have nannies in their employ to look after their kids. As a new mum who counts a day when I manage to keep a clean house, blog and keep a baby happy as a quite an achievement, I don’t really want to read about the business a new mum grew from nothing because she saw a “niche in the market” and was handy with the Singer. Maybe one day there will be a parenting magazine which shows a house covered with toys, kids covered in goo and a mother looking less than glamorous but happy and at ease with the chaos around her.

Self Censorship

My best friend is a voracious reader with a broad range of tastes so I asked to borrow some books. Isaac and I often spend the afternoon reading and I will read aloud to him whatever novel I am currently engrossed in. I have re-read most of my own books and I am notoriously late at returning library books, so I am pillaging friends’ book cases. My friend is a forensic psychologist so she is interested in the fragility of the mind and human experience. As such, she has a number of books recounting tales of childhood abuse or about people that just aren’t quite right. Another side effect of motherhood I had not expected is the overwhelming emotion that accompanies seeing or hearing about children being hurt. As I flicked through her library my friend would take a book off me – “Not that one – that’s about a kid who was abused by his Dad and can’t break the cycle of abuse as an adult.” “Hmmm, a child is murdered in that one ... sorry”. “Nope, that one is just disturbing.” In the end I borrowed some inoffensive Pauline Simmonds as well as a few mysteries.

It is strange how we start self –censoring as mothers. Normally Angelina Jolie in a starring role would be enough to entice me to a movie, but I have no interest in seeing Changeling – a story about a child who goes missing and then is replaced at a later date by a different child but no one believes the mother that this isn’t her baby. On the flip side, adverts for Huggies or even toilet paper with that cute little puppy have my heart bursting with affection.

Learning Patience

One of the greatest things that Isaac is teaching me is patience. By nature I am not a patient person, added to that I have a compulsion to always keep busy. Why do one thing at time when you can do three? The other day my mum and I were talking about the different parenting advice that has been offered through the years. Apparently she was told that when breast feeding you need to concentrate on that only – not read a book or watch TV at the same time. I somewhat sheepishly admitted to feeding, watching TV and reading a book all at the same time. At work I tended to do a few things at once (which I don’t advocate as I think you do a better job doing one thing at a time) but it’s hard to leave that habit behind.

I love to make lists of things that need to be done. There is nothing quite like crossing a task off a list. If fact, I have been known to write down a completed job simply for the joy of striking it off. My husband finds this hilarious. Isaac doesn’t always comply with my list. My intention is to work through a number of chores in quick succession but he will need a cuddle or I will simply get caught up gazing at him. Somehow I’d feel it was cheating to add “stare at Isaac” to my list. Even once he is settled and happy and I have every intention of using that time to get things done I find myself looking down at him wondering at this little angel. There are plenty of times when I want to have a shower or make something to eat and Isaac will decide he needs me more. I find myself needing to take a deep breath but as soon as I look into his face my immediate needs seem to melt away. His impatience making me patient.

Night time waking – whose job is it?

I guess every new parent knows this feeling – you have just fed the baby, settled him and put him in the cot. You listening to those little snuffling settling sounds until you are confident bub is sleeping. You then drift off yourself and just as sleep seems within your grasp a whimper clutches you back from the edge of dreaming. You listen for another moment hoping that it’s just one little cry but then it escalates to a full on scream and you know that you are up again ... and this is the fourth time in a row this has occurred. It’s at this point that you notice your partner happily snoring beside you. You feel a surge of anger at the quality sleep that is eluding you. You consider waking him for “his” turn but decide against it because:

1. You’re awake anyways so you may as well go


2. He has to go to work in the morning and you feel guilty waking him (despite knowing that it’s perfectly reasonable to share the night time duties)


3. You know that if he can’t settle bub within a few minutes he will be in the bedroom suggesting that the problem is that baby is hungry (even when you know he’s fed and full)

However, I must give some credos to my husband who has a magic way of settling Isaac when I can’t. He will go into the lounge at 1am and cuddle Isaac to sleep whilst he watches whatever sport inhabits that hour, and more impressively , won’t fall asleep himself and will put Isaac back into his cot before rejoining me in bed.

Things you never thought of until you have baby

There are certain moments that occur with a newborn baby that you are totally unprepared for. I am not talking about the sleep deprivation or the surprising range of a baby boy pee or just how much love you feel your baby. I am talking about the little things that affect your life in ways you didn’t expect.

The other day I was preparing to head out with Isaac to a shopping centre – just him and I. Suddenly I thought struck me – what was I going to do if I had to go the bathroom? In a panic I asked hubby for his advice. With a wry smile he suggested that I hang Isaac, baby carrier and all, on the hook they have on the back of toilets. Then came the slightly more sensible suggestion of using the disabled loo and taking the pram. However, for someone who is a very adamant about closing the bathroom door, this all seemed contrary to my nature. Instead I resolved that I just wouldn’t go to the bathroom when I was out with Isaac. I had flash backs to a trip to Africa we had a few years ago. The only bathroom option whilst driving out on the plains was, well, out on the plains. If I have strong pelvic floor muscles, it’s nothing to do with pregnancy exercise and everything to do with “holding on” whilst being bumped and jostled in a jeep over Africa.

I am lucky enough to live near a gorgeous group of women who have little children. The other night we all went out for a girls’ dinner, leaving our hubbies holding the babies. Of course the discussion was centred around our kids. I felt quite sorry for the only one of our number who doesn’t have a baby – I do remember being bored by conversations about other people’s offspring. However, as much as your promise “you won’t be that parent”, you end up that way. It wasn’t until I realised that we were quite happily discussing poo that I realised that I had turned into that mother.

Other things that have surprised me are: just how much you can get done with one hand whilst nursing a baby with the other, how fast little ones grow out of clothing, how long you can spend staring at them sleep and how much fun it is to be a mum.

In love with baby

The other weekend Nathan was off at a boys golf weekend and Isaac and I were “home alone”. In truth I was worried about looking after Isaac solo for three days, however it ended up being a magical time. We spent most of the weekend on the couch. Ostensibly I took out some DVDs to catch up on some movies I hadn’t seen, but in reality I spent most of the time staring at Isaac. And in turn he was gazing at me. It’s amazing the rush of love that you experience when looking into the inquisitive eyes of your newborn baby. In those moments I feel like the luckiest girl alive. This valentine’s day gone will be one I treasure forever and not because it was filled with roses or gifts. The image I will keep in my heart is watching my son and my husband sleeping side by side. Their shallow breaths mirroring each others - peaceful and content. Having a baby is filled with challenges and it is hard to get a moment’s peace to yourself, but at times like that it’s more than worth it.

To the beach!

Last weekend Isaac had his first trip to the beach. We packed the car (95% Isaac stuff, 5% our own) and headed to Alex for a peaceful (?) weekend away. Upon arriving at our destination we learned that you could “hire” a cot for a baby from reception. My husband is not keen on spending money unnecessarily and thought this was a blatant grab for cash. It was one of those places where you had to pay to get extra blankets and had a sign saying that cleaning charges would be applicable should the kitchen not be left in the state it was found. So we pushed together a couple of chairs and hey presto! A cot for Isaac. Isaac is the kind of baby that sleeps anywhere so he wasn’t too perturbed by his new surrounds and slept well.

The morning after we arrived we decided to tackle the beach. Loaded down with a shade cabana, baby carrier, nappy bag, towels, hats and sunscreen we walk over to the beach. The shade cabana is the type that takes 5 seconds to put up and a 30 minutes struggle complete with giggling on lookers to put down. After kitting Isaac out in his new hat , baby sun block applied we placed him in the shadiest corner of the cabana. As we looked around the beach we realised that we were the only ones fool enough to try and go to the beach with a baby under 12 months. Eventually, after quite a bit of grumbling, Isaac feel asleep, leaving me free to lie on my beach towel and read my magazine.... For two seconds before he grumbled again. Being able to sleep everywhere obviously didn't extend to this hot, sandy and rather unpleasant environment. Eventually Isaac and I went back to the room leaving Nathan free to go for an ocean swim. The next day we went to the lagoon pool at the hotel which was 100% more successful and lo-and behold where all the other parents with little babies were!

Co-Sleeping

As a naive pregnant woman I was sure that my baby would not co-sleep. He would be in his cot by 7pm each night and sleeping through by the time he was 6 weeks old. Of course, what you plan for and what actually happens are totally different things. Isaac settles quickly most of the time after a late night feed - no, funnily enough he isn't sleeping through just yet! But there are times that he will seem to settle and then just when I drift off to sleep, I hear that plaintive cry coming from his room. There have been times where this has occurred 3 or 4 times in a row and he comes into the big bed. Once tucked in with mum and dad he drifts off to sleep immediately and sleeps longer between feeds. There is something undeniably wonderful about sleeping with your baby beside you, waking to see his beautiful face in the morning. Just to know that it's your presence, your warmth that is keeping him happy. To be in that sleepy state between dreaming and waking together as you feed. However, there are some dangers with co-sleeping and deaths can occur due to suffocation or strangulation. Here are the guidelines for co-sleeping:

• You shouldn't co-sleep if you are smoker, have had any drugs (including medication and alcohol), or have a sleep disorder. Siblings should not sleep with the baby.
• Always place your baby on his or her back to sleep to reduce the risk of SIDS.
• Always leave your child's head uncovered while sleeping.
• Make sure your bed's headboard and footboard don't have openings or cutouts that could trap your baby's head.
• Make sure your mattress fits snugly in the bed frame so that your baby won't become trapped in between the frame and the mattress.
• Don't place a baby to sleep in an adult bed alone.
• Don't use pillows, comforters, quilts, and other soft or plush items on the bed.
• Don't drink alcohol or use medications or drugs that may keep you from waking and may cause you to roll over onto, and therefore suffocate, your baby.
• Don't place your bed near draperies or blinds where your child could be strangled by cords.

I think it's worth remembering that 9o% of the world's population would co-sleep with their infants. It's a very "Western" and even unnatural thing to do - to separate our babies into their own beds. If you look at it in that light it suddenly seems cruel to have a newborn sleeping away from it's mother. But our lifestyles are very different and a lot of very content babies sleep in their own beds. It is also hard to sleep with a snuffling little bub beside you while you are cautious not to roll on them. Like most things with babies - it's horses for courses and you and your baby have to choose your own path. For Isaac and I, there will be the occasional co-sleep but we hope to cease that prior to 6 months. After 6 months it can be difficult to get the wee ones out of the big bed until they are much older.

Baby routines

I recently bought the new contented little baby book by Gina Ford. For those not familiar with it, it is series of (very strict) feeding and sleeping routines with the intended outcome that your baby will sleep through the night at an early age. Now, I love plans, lists and routines but even I find that the routine suggested very restrictive and dictator-ish, so much so that the book is now know as the little miss bossy book at our place. After a quick google search I found that most people had quite strong views about this book (and they weren’t all positive). If you are thinking of getting this book the salient points are:

1. Babies learn by association – therefore you need to put some routine around the “big” night time sleep so that bub can differentiate between it and nap time. This might include bath time and definitely includes putting bub down in his nursery.


2. Keep feeds at night very quite – avoid eye contact and don’t play with baby. Cuddles etc. are fine but they should be of the settling variety.


3. Try to keep sleeping during the day to gradually reducing hours so that the night time stretch becomes longer. Feed more during the day.

Gina offers a number of routines (and they are to the minute!) as well as some suggested solutions to common first year problems.

Isaac is a good baby and we certainly aren’t out the “pulling out our hair trying everything” stage with night time feeds. But we are trying a variant on the schedules that she suggests. Probably the hardest thing about Gina’s book is that she s one of those authors who dictate rather than suggest. She really does make you feel like you are doing the entirely the wrong thing if you go against her advice. Again I say that there is one expect on you and your baby – and it’s not Gina Ford – it’s you.

Work Visits

I remember being at work and at times the sound of small baby would drift down the hall way. Heads would poke out of offices as we all greeted whoever brought in their new bundle of joy. It is somewhat of a tradition that babies come into the office to be introduced to those that have been carefully monitoring the bump that preceded them.

On Tuesday, it was my turn to take in little Isaac to meet the people I work with. Because Isaac was born nearly five weeks early, he is quite tiny (in the 5th percentile) so everyone exclaims on how little he is. For us he seems huge since we first brought him home - he has nearly doubled in size during the first five weeks – going from 2.61kg to 3.49kg! Everyone cooed over how cute (and small!) he is and suggested whether he looked like more like Nathan or I. It seems with his eyes closed he looks like me - when they are open, people think more like Nathan.

It was a touch surreal to be in the office and yet not really a part of the office at the moment. Wandering up to work and seeing people talking seriously over coffee meetings at the various coffee shops along the way reminded me of a world that I won’t be part of again for some time. I did get a chance to catch up with my team and touch base with those currently leading the team. It was nice to talk about work projects for a little while, but even nicer to come home with Isaac and relax. I feel confident that my team is working well without me (apparently my absence did not cause the sky to fall in :) ) but I do miss them.

Wonderful Partners - Daddies who do their bit

My husband and I have always shared the upkeep of the household. We work similar hours and contribute the same amount of income so sharing the housework seems quite natural. I still can’t believe that there are blokes out there who think it’s appropriate for the woman to bear the brunt of the housework. It’s also a huge lost opportunity for them – Nathan and I have some great chats whilst preparing the evening meal or grocery shopping together.

So, in the same vein, we were all for co-parenting Isaac. Nathan is completely besotted by his little son and loves to cuddle him at any given chance. He has never baulked at changing a nappy, laughs when Isaac “leaks” on either of us and is excellent at settling Isaac when he is upset. He has (and this is above and beyond the call of duty) taken 8 weeks off to spend with us.

I know that not every family can do that and I feel really privileged that we are in this situation. It means that Nathan is able to establish some very strong early bonds with Isaac which I know will be evident in later life. It also means that in the past few weeks I have gone to the hair dresser for a full colour rather than just rushing in between feeds. I have had a beautiful beauty and massage treatment and a couple of dinners out with girlfriends. Nathan is quite happy to give Isaac the expressed feed and I think they really enjoy that time together. I am not quite sure what I am going to do when he is back at work!

It has also given me a whole new level of respect for those that parent alone or with a partner who is not supportive. The last few weeks have been delightful but I am sure that would be different if I didn’t have the support I have. I would encourage all new dads to be on as hands on as possible – you only get this opportunity once in your child’s life. Also, there is nothing sexier than seeing your partner change a nappy or clean the kitchen. If the old love life has stalled after the birth – it’s not a bad way to kick start it ;)

Baby's first shopping trip

We had our first proper shopping trip with Isaac to the DFO the other day. Rather than driving around the car park tailing people who looked like they were leaving we swung into a pram park right outside the shopping centre. Glee was all over Nathan’s face! After wrestling with the pram (only slightly) we were all inside the centre. As often occurs when we shop, Nathan looked at his stores and I wandered around the ones I liked. Well I tried to whilst manoeuvring a pram around fixtures – I have a new found respect for those with mobility issues. I found a top that I liked and wanted to try on and came across a new problem – change rooms are not built for prams. So rather hesitantly I let the shop keeper keep an eye on Isaac as I changed – all the while feeling that I was a terrible mother to do so. After that, Nathan and I shopped as a team!

When you have a new baby you are suddenly admitted into the parents club. The closest I can liken it to is when you buy a new car and suddenly everyone with same model waves or gives a knowing nod as you pass each other on the freeway. Well apparently a similar set of rules apply with children. You are asked how old, when was he born, whether he’s your first, how you are finding it and so the list goes on. Everyone is suddenly incredibly helpful and friendly – which is lovely. I had a nice natter to a lady who was saying that slings are most definitely the way to go in shopping centres rather than trying to manage a pram. I am one of those people that can never seem to steer a shopping trolley in the right direction, so I am a little challenged when it comes to the pram and her advice made sense to me.

Time seems to exist in some sort of vortex with shopping centres and our 2 hour shopping trip (to coincide with feeds) stretched to three hours. So I was off to another parents’ room – and again I was surprised by the palatial dimensions. We are really lucky to have these kinds of facilities and I am grateful to whoever lobbied for us to get them.

I can’t say that shopping with a baby is quite as relaxing as it used to be but it was still a fun experience and at least I got a few tops that I can breast-feed comfortably in. On the way out another parent spied us with our new bub getting into the car. “Pram parks” she smiled, “best thing about children” and then laughed – “No, there are lots of wonderful things – just wait and see” and so we shall!

What I thought being a mother would be like

A few of my friends indicated that I would feel the following upon becoming a mother:

• You will change forever and the way that you look at your partner will change forever
• Becoming a parent is like really joining the human family
• Once you become a parent that is when you truly grow up
• You will struggle with having a little person that is entirely, utterly reliant on you
• You will be bored at home
• You won’t have time to be bored at home
• It will be the best thing you have ever done

Now some of those assumptions are quite condescending towards those that have made the valid choice not to have children. I don’t feel that having a child completes me, makes me into an adult or ties me in a stronger way to the human race. What I have felt is an overwhelming sense of love for my child accompanied by a fierce desire to protect Isaac. I feel like there is another dimension to my life, rather than a loss of self. I feel that I will learn so much from being a mother and that, as all life experiences do, it will make me a better rounded person. I know that it will teach me patience (a much needed lesson!)

I haven’t yet been bored at home, but I can see how that might happen. Time is a luxury that we aren’t often afforded, so I want to use it to learn new things and rediscover old hobbies. As for feeling tied down or resentful of the demands of a newborn – I haven’t felt that. I think that the overwhelming desire to keep him safe and happy overrides any feelings of resentment. I literally would do anything for him. I know its early days and perhaps my outlook is rosier that it should be but one thing is for sure though – it’s the best thing we have ever done.

Breastfeeding in public

Breastfeeding in public can be quite daunting and there does seem to be an art in doing it discreetly. In Australia, it is illegal to discriminate against a breast feeding mother in the area of goods and services (including restaurants, clubs etc), so ensure that you are aware of your rights. However, to ensure that you are comfortable, you might like to look out for restaurants that show the breastfeeding welcome sign to indicate that they are fine with breast feeding mothers. If another patron objects to your breast feeding you can point out politely that you are within your legal rights to breastfeed and if they find it offensive they may like to refrain from watching. However, there does need to be a balance and I personally feel that it’s worth being discreet. You will also find that people are more likely to accept you feeding a small baby than an older one.
In order to feed discretely, you might like to view how you feed in a mirror so that you can get an idea of how it looks to others. Remember that your baby will hide the lower breast and nipple whilst feeding. Attaching baby is probably the time when you are most worried about revealing more than you want to. Take a shawl, pashmina or baby wrap and place around your shoulders, covering your breast. Put this around both shoulders – I have tried to the one shoulder technique and the material inevitable ends up slipping off! You can then feed your baby under the wrap.
Other options include wearing a very loose t-shirt and feeding baby from under the shirt. If you are a bit of a fashionista going out in a over sized t-shirt may not appeal! Another option is investing in a few little jackets, cardigans or shrugs which can go over a singlet and offer cover when you are attaching baby. I would recommend purchasing a few maternity singlets - Big W seems to have the best prices for the bonds variety.
If you are nervous about breast feeding in public, try to ensure that your outing is near or in a shopping centre with a parent room. If you are nervous or upset when feeding your baby, your baby will also become upset. It does become easier with time and the first time you breastfeed in public you will be uncomfortable – until you realise that no-one around you is really that concerned!

Bring a perfect baby into an imperfect world

I often feed Isaac in the morning whilst watching the news. Bombings in the middle east, wars between Israel and Palestine, floods in Fiji, stock markets tumbling all make me wonder about the world we have brought our little one into.

I think each generation worries about this – when I was born my parents would have been concerned about terrorism, an economy that was starting to fail and the threat of nuclear war. And yet we have come out the other side relatively unscathed.

On the plus side I am bringing Isaac up in a world that has been ready to accept and embrace the first African American president, a world that is starting to recognise and act upon its environmental responsibilities, a world where miracles occur – such as a pilot landing a plane with two failed engines into a river and avoiding any fatalities. While the news is filled with the economic crisis it’s hard to focus on the positive, but the good news is definitely there.

I can’t wait to see the world through Isaac’s eyes – each little thing a wondrous event as he explores his world. Seeing the world through the eyes of a child will turn around the cynic and open our eyes to the beauty of our earth.

How to keep your relationship on track with a newborn

Obviously a newborn changes your life quite dramatically and it would be naive to think it’s not going to impact on the relationship you have with your partner. I have found the following useful:

1. Sit down and talk about how you would each parent, including your own experiences as a child. Specifically for a newborn talk about whether you will be trying to get your baby into a feeding routine straight away or whether you will demand feed. Also talk about how you feel about co-sleeping.
2. Talk about how your partner will be involved in baby care – nappy changes, baths, cuddles, settling and feeding (expressed or formula) as well as how you will share care of the house. Talk about your expectations of each other and what you will accept. Are you okay with having a messy house? Not having a cooked meal each evening?
3. If you are breast feeding you will feel that you are doing the lioness’ share of the work. Recognise that and try not to resent your partner for it. Don’t feel guilty about getting them to help out in other ways.
4. You will both be tired and if something frustrates you, you are likely to take it out on each other. It’s going to be something small and silly and escalate into something bigger where you might say something you don’t mean. If you feel yourself getting frustrated try to catch that feeling early and remove yourself from the situation. This might be counting to ten or leaving the room.
5. If an argument does escalate try to resolve your issue prior to going to bed. Once you have both cooled down, talk out what the underlying issues are.
6. Keep kissing and cuddling – affection is really important and it will relax you.
7. Make time to laugh together every day. Look at your newborn together and enjoy your new family.

Nathan and I have a very strong relationship and this advice is aimed at couples with a similar experience. If you are really struggling with your partner and a newborn, getting in touch with Realtionships Australia - http://www.relationships.com.au/ might help.

Managing Sleeping (yours!)

There are a million books (so it seems!) on getting baby to sleep but what about mummy?

My tips are:

1. Go to bed early – you don’t win any prizes for staying up late. I go to bed between 8:45pm and 9:30pm. Yes, you might feel like a 12 year old but it’s worth it. Even if you think you could not possibly be tired at that hour, try it out.


2. Get yourself into a bedtime routine – a standard time for bed and some kind of ritual, such as a shower or reading a book prior to sleep.


3. If you cannot get to sleep, try using some lavender oil on your pillow. I also find going through a relaxation routine is very helpful. Concentrate on your breathing and then move through each muscle group in your body (starting from your feet) tensing and then relaxing. Imagine a golden light coming through your body from your feet and your whole body becoming very heavy.


4. Let go of the feeling “what’s the point of sleeping when I will be up in an hour to feed?” Instead think, “I have an hour – I choose to use that hour to rest”


5. Have a nanna nap in the afternoon between feeds.


6. Babies make all sorts of snuffly sounds as they sleep – don’t strain to hear those sounds (particularly after a feed). Instead train yourself to sleep through these – if your baby genuinely needs you their cry will wake you.


7. Aim to have at least one hour to yourself each day where you concentrate on you. Try not to be thinking about the baby, the house work or the list of things to do. During that hour or so, be selfish, live in that moment and think only of yourself. This might mean a bath, reading a book or watching a DVD - whatever you find relaxing. A refreshed mother makes for a happier baby so don’t feel guilty about thinking of yourself for a little while.

Top 5 things you wish someone would have told you about caring for a newborn

There are a few things that I wish someone had told me...

1. 1. Buy nappies online – it’s as cheap as or cheaper than from the supermarket and it’s so easy when it’s delivered to your door. One less thing to worry about! I use http://www.nappysupplies.com.au/ and literally the nappies are at my door within hours.


2. If you are breastfeeding, express a little milk each day or second day. This allows you freedom to go out without worrying about needing to be home within a certain time to feed baby. It also allows your partner to take a night time feed, giving you much needed rest! I find that the plastic bags you can buy from chemists to store and freeze breast milk the most useful. I also think an electric breast pump is a good investment.


3. It will actually be a wonderful time! So many books and magazines seem to focus on the transition to motherhood being a difficult and trying time. I have been very lucky, but I have found motherhood to be nothing but pure joy. I really had assumed that the first six weeks were going to be awful but have been pleasantly surprised to find that they have been lovely (so far!).


4. Do not put yourself under house arrest. The wonderful thing about newborns is how portable they are! They sleep a lot of the time and fit into slings and capsules. Go out to dinner or lunch – make sure that you “rejoin” the world as soon as you feel up to it. Whether that's with your baby or catching up with a friend while someone else minds bub (again express, express, express!). With baby, shopping centres are a great option as they have fabulous parent rooms. I assumed a parent room would be a small room with a chair but most are full on lounges with TVs, microwaves for heating milk and loads of comfortable seating for breastfeeding. Most seem to be the size of a small house! If anybody tells you that you shouldn't be out with such a small baby remind that s/he had to get home from the hospital somehow.


5. Read, read, read but realise that the expert on your baby and you is you and your baby. Books will often give conflicting advice and other people definitely will. Get to know your baby first and foremost. Use the helpful advice, setting aside anything that doesn’t work for you.

Mummy Guilt and Childcare

Motherhood guilt and judgement happens as soon as your pregnant bump reveals itself. The sidelong disapproving glance when you have a cappuccino. The wine glass whisked away at lunch as “you obviously won’t be drinking” when you rather had your heart set on a cheeky red.

The issue of working mothers is the one where guilt and judgement come into their own. People say things like “if you are going to continue working, why bother having children?” or “don’t you want to bring up your own child?” These statements assume that being a good mother and a career woman are mutually exclusive roles. For some reason we have come to accept the idea that a woman staying home full time to look after her children is the natural order of things. In fact it’s a fairly modern construct. Prior to the industrial revolution the roles of father (bread winner) and mother (care giver) where not so defined. Children were a part of parent’s working life on the land and care giving for infants was shared amongst a larger family unit. Indeed in agricultural cultures this is still the case. However, in the West our working conditions do not lend themselves to caring for a baby whilst we work and our nuclear families leave little room for shared care. Therefore the choice becomes stay at home mother or working mother with a child in day care. Those that can afford it may have the luxury of a nanny, but that’s a small proportion of us. There has been growing evidence to suggest that extended time in child care for children less than two years of age is detrimental to development. The conclusion drawn from this is that a mother who puts her child into care is a “bad mother”. And once again, the blame is shifted to the mother rather than looking for a proper solution to the issue. Work places need to become more child friendly and more flexible work practices need to be created. I am lucky in that IT is a field where it’s easy to work from home but that freedom needs to be extended. If every mother were to stay at home with her children until aged 3 or 4 the economy would collapse – we simply could not support that kind of exit from the work force. This is broader than a mother or women’s issue – it’s an issue that affects everybody. A mother’s choice and needs should be supported – rather than engaging in “mummy wars” about whether a woman should work or not with children we should be looking for solutions that allow mothers to be with their kids whilst working. Mothers should not be made guilty for wanting to retain their careers, nor should they feel that the only valid choice for continuing their careers is if the money is necessary for the upkeep of the household. I read a book which suggested “if you could afford not to work, but you do go back to work, tell people that you need the extra money to pay the mortgage to avoid judgement.” I think we need to stop the judging and start working towards the solution.

Problem Solving with a baby

As an IT manager you are constantly solving problems. Technical issues are generally quite gratifying to solve – you have a set of circumstances and by either a process of elimination or a thorough knowledge of the system you fix the issue. Everyone around you hails you as a hero and you feel rather chuffed with yourself.

Trying to find out why a baby is crying is proving rather different. The process of elimination still works well – is it a dirty nappy? Is he hungry? Cold? Hot? Windy? In need of a cuddle? The problem arises when you exhaust these options and baby is still crying. The books say that sometimes babies just cry and all that really helps is focusing on the fact that “this too will pass”. That’s all very zen and I am trying to adopt that relaxed attitude. But when the cry of your baby pierces the air, pitiful and pleading, and you can do nothing to comfort him you feel less than relaxed. We are learning the cries – loud, high pitched and getting louder and increasingly high pitched is a “feed me” cry. A lower cry that doesn’t change is a “pick me up” cry. Isaac is a great baby and we have only had a few crying jags that last about half an hour. So I really feel for those that have “colicky” babies that cry often and apparently without reason. Particularly when you are used to being able to fix issues, it’s frustrating to be faced with a seemingly inconsolable little one. What we are trying is:

1. Always offer the breast if you are breast feeding. For Isaac, even if he isn’t hungry this tends to settle him.
2. If you are getting “over it”or feeling like you are going to "lose it" pass the baby over to someone else.
3. Talk to your baby through the screams – for some reason this makes me feel a little more in control.
4. Realise that this isn’t your fault or the baby’s fault. Take a few deep breaths. Any relaxation exercises you may have used during your antenatal classes might help.

Nursery Decor

I have yet to meet a man whose ambitions for their infant do not include sporting glory. Nathan is no different – though perhaps a little more “hard core” than most. So the theme for our nursery was always going to be sports related. Now if you go down to your local Target / DJs / Myer etc. you will notice that there are linens decorated with pirates, safari animals, farm animals, cars, trains and planes for little boy rooms. There are no sports options. There are few great websites (mostly in the states) that do have sports linen (check out http://www.thecompanystore.com/defaultkids2.asp), however due to shipping costs we decided to DIY.
I made some football wall hangings (above). To make these I cut two halves of a football shape out of contrasting fabric and sewed together. I then threaded red ribbon between the two halves to create the “lace”. I then put the “football” onto a calico backing and stuffed lightly. Stitch onto some cheap canvas and there you go.
I also made some wall hangings from fabric sourced from a craft shop and trimmed the curtains and made cushions in the same fabric.
We will be getting some sports pennants (online from http://www.sportswall.com/) and hanging these on the wall. Ikea has a great range of soft sports balls that we also have put around the room.
There are some fantastic wall decals out there - these ones take the cake for me http://www.allposters.com/-st/Basketball-Giant-Wall-Decals-Posters_c96484_.htm, but a bit on the exxy side!
Once Isaac is a little older, we will purchase a locker to put his clothes in – again Ikea have a great range. We will also affix a small basketball hoop above a waste paper basket just for fun.
I am quite happy with the end result – which is a bright and happy room that can grow with Isaac.

Keeping a clean house with a new born

Without fail every baby book you read will tell you to “forget about the housework – sleep when baby is sleeping”. But if you are one of those people that can’t sleep when the house is a mess that just doesn’t work. Here are a few shortcuts to a clean house with a newborn:

1. Make sure that every thing has its place, and every place has its thing. Ideally it’s best to do a spring clean before bub comes along. The rule I follow – if it isn’t functional, useful or seriously sentimental, it goes. It’s much easier to keep a house clean that isn’t full of clutter.


2. Some clutter is unavoidable – to keep “baby thing sprawl” under control, have a basket in each room that may have baby stuff in it. Chuck everything into the basket for an instant tidy.


3. Have a “clean as you go” rule – helpful for bathroom and kitchen. Whenever a meal is made, a cup used etc. the person that used that cup or made that meal cleans as they go. Have a chux near the bathroom sink so that it can be wiped after use. Obviously this is going to work better with adults than children! It's much easier to keep the kitchen tidy if you have one pot meals.


4. If you can afford it, get a cleaner in. If you have good family and friend support, see if they are willing to come over for a cleaning “bee” – this can be good to get those tough jobs like oven cleaning, fridge defrosting done.


5. If it’s all just too overwhelming – try to leave one room in your house neat and tidy and use that as your “retreat” room when looking at the mess gets too much.

Lesson #1 - Babies don't adhere to Gantt charts (or if you want make God laugh - tell him your plans)

Part of my job is project management – something I love doing! Drawing up PRINCE diagrams and Gantt charts is a source of much fun for me. Yes, I am a project management tragic. I approached pregnancy as though it was another IT project. There were lists and milestones. Each bit of weight gain was diligently recorded and graphed. Each appointment summarised and documented in a spreadsheet. Every item of clothing given to us for Isaac was listed with size, date received and date washed. You probably think I am exaggerating – I am not. I walked into my midwife appointments with my carefully cross referenced folder and was greeted by a wry smile and "first baby then?" The midwives knew that babies have little regard for PRINCE 2. Isaac was born 4 and half weeks early. The evening of the 24th I had mild cramps - much like period pain but I dismissed it as baby starting to descend. There was a small voice that said - what if this is it? But I decided it couldn't be labour because I didn't want my baby to born so near Christmas, we had a holiday planned for early January and I hadn't yet finished up work. By 10:30pm the next evening, I held our new little baby in my arms. Strangely enough, once labour had definitely established a feeling of calm fell over me and I started to be quite zen about the whole thing. At some point I accepted that our little miracle was coming into our lives and that was a wonderful thing, no matter how ill prepared we might be. Isaac arrived after a dream labour, lasting only 7 hours from water breaking. Despite being so early, he was a good weight and the only issue was some jaundice treated by billi lights. Suddenly, plans are out the window and priorities have shifted.